Recebi isto há dias no mail, e foi difícil não me riririririririr.
Circular Interna (verídica) de uma multinacional americana em Portugal(no Porto), contra a linguagem dos trabalhadores do Norte.
Cá vai:
It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting ourcorporate Headquarters that offensive language is commonly used by ourPortuguese-speaking staff. Such behavior, in addition to violating our Policy, is highly unprofessionaland offensive to both visitors and colleagues.
In order to avoid such situations please note that all Staff is kindlyrequested to IMMEDIATELY adhere to the following rules:
1) Words like merda, caralho, foda-se, porra or puta-que-o-pariu and othersuch expressions will not be used for emphasis, no matter how heated thediscussion.
2) You will not say cagada when someone makes a mistake, organda-merda if you see somebody either being reprimanded or making amistake, or que-grande-cagada when a major mistake has been made.All forms derivate from the verb cagar are inappropriate in our environment.
3) No project manager, section head, or executive, under no circumstances,will be referred to as filho-da-puta, cabrão, ó-grande-come-merda, orvaca-gorda-da-puta-que-a-pariu.
4) Lack of determination will not be referred to as falta-de-colhões orcoisa-de-maricas and neither will persons who lack initiative aspicha-mole, corno, or mariconso.
5) Unusual or creative ideas from your superiors are not to be referred toas punheta-mental.
6) Do not say esse-cabrão-enche-a-porra-do-juízo if a person ispersistent. When a task is heavy to achieve remember that you must not sayé uma-foda. In a similar way, do not use esse-gajo-está-fodido if colleagueis going through a difficult situation. Furthermore, you must not sayque-putedo when matters become complicated.
7) When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say vai-à-merda. Donot ever substitute "May I help you" with que-porra-é-que-tu-queres?? Whenthings get tough, an acceptable statement such as "we are going through adifficult time" should be used, rather than isto-está-tudo-fodido.
8) No salary increase shall ever be referred to as aumento-dum-cabrão.
9) Last but not least after reading this memo please do not saymete-o-no-cu. Just keep it clean and dispose of it properly. We hope you will keep these directions in mind.
Thank you.
Circular Interna (verídica) de uma multinacional americana em Portugal(no Porto), contra a linguagem dos trabalhadores do Norte.
Cá vai:
It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting ourcorporate Headquarters that offensive language is commonly used by ourPortuguese-speaking staff. Such behavior, in addition to violating our Policy, is highly unprofessionaland offensive to both visitors and colleagues.
In order to avoid such situations please note that all Staff is kindlyrequested to IMMEDIATELY adhere to the following rules:
1) Words like merda, caralho, foda-se, porra or puta-que-o-pariu and othersuch expressions will not be used for emphasis, no matter how heated thediscussion.
2) You will not say cagada when someone makes a mistake, organda-merda if you see somebody either being reprimanded or making amistake, or que-grande-cagada when a major mistake has been made.All forms derivate from the verb cagar are inappropriate in our environment.
3) No project manager, section head, or executive, under no circumstances,will be referred to as filho-da-puta, cabrão, ó-grande-come-merda, orvaca-gorda-da-puta-que-a-pariu.
4) Lack of determination will not be referred to as falta-de-colhões orcoisa-de-maricas and neither will persons who lack initiative aspicha-mole, corno, or mariconso.
5) Unusual or creative ideas from your superiors are not to be referred toas punheta-mental.
6) Do not say esse-cabrão-enche-a-porra-do-juízo if a person ispersistent. When a task is heavy to achieve remember that you must not sayé uma-foda. In a similar way, do not use esse-gajo-está-fodido if colleagueis going through a difficult situation. Furthermore, you must not sayque-putedo when matters become complicated.
7) When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say vai-à-merda. Donot ever substitute "May I help you" with que-porra-é-que-tu-queres?? Whenthings get tough, an acceptable statement such as "we are going through adifficult time" should be used, rather than isto-está-tudo-fodido.
8) No salary increase shall ever be referred to as aumento-dum-cabrão.
9) Last but not least after reading this memo please do not saymete-o-no-cu. Just keep it clean and dispose of it properly. We hope you will keep these directions in mind.
Thank you.
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